Monday, October 27, 2008

Wisdom for Me to Live by...or at least try.

Today I was having a rough day with the kids. Well, let's be honest here... it's been rough on and off since Kaylee decided she had a mind of her own and Ginger followed suit. When I finally had a moment to myself to think about the day and how it had gone, I found myself pondering what I could do because the way I was doing things just wasn't cutting it. I yelled so much today, and I felt so behind in trying to keep up with the house and all that needs to be done. The list is exhausting and I always feel like I can't keep up.
These sorts of days just don't sit well with me - I always feel I could be doing better, that yelling and being angry isn't the person I want to be, and that I'm sure I'm hurting my kids by being this way. You know, the regular guilt trips us moms give ourselves. While I was thinking about all this, a friend's name popped into my mind and I knew I should give her a call. She answered right away and had the best advice. She's a mom of several kids and always seems so laid back. I admire that about her and that her kids really seem to respect her. So I asked her what her secret was.
She said she remembered the scripture in D&C 121: 41-43 which says we should persuade only by gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned. I've read these scriptures before and I know this is the way Christ taught and the way I need to teach. The next thing she said which made the biggest difference in how I look at this scripture was to decide what is critical that my kids do and what's not. Chances are there are very few critical things that my kids do, things that are life/death sorts of things, incl. spiritual life/death things. So if she's asking her kids to hurry and put their shoes on so they're not late, she'll help them out instead of get angry at them and frustrated. It's the long-suffering part, the love and service part of that scripture I need to do. These are my children, my job is to love and serve them. Because who else loves us like our mothers?
My friend also mentioned Moroni 7: 45 - charity (the pure love of Christ) suffereth long, and is kind...and seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked...beareth all things...endureth all things. I need to be less selfish and seek to put the needs of my children (and my husband) before my own selfish interests. Of course we're supposed to take care of ourselves too, so we don't deplete our well of love and service, but I need to remember these two scriptures.
The other thing I've learned through motherhood is the meaning of sacrifice. We sacrifice so much for our children: our bodies, our time, our showers, our sleep, our money, you name it, we give it at one time or another. But we do it because they are our greatest source of true joy and happiness. I love my girls - they have been my greatest trials but also my greatest blessings. I hope I can remember the advice I received from my friend tonight so that my relationship with each of them is better, that we're closer and we can feel the peace that comes from living in a Christ like manner.
By the way Sam, you are the best husband! I'm so grateful for your love and help in raising our children and for how hard you work for our family. Thank you, really, for all that you do everyday for our family and for me. Your love and service to me has not gone unnoticed - your girls are grateful for all that you provide for us. I'm so glad our girls have such a great relationship with you. It's so very important for them to have you around and to have the relationship they have with you. Thank you Sammy and I love you!

2 comments:

Chuck and Angie said...

Thanks Sarah! I think I need the reminder, too! Love ya!

Tasha said...

I think every mom needs that reminder, and I only have one cherub! Thanks for the scripture quotes:) But I honestly find it hard to believe that a sweet person like you actually yells...(This is Aaron Whitmill's wife by the way) You can check out our blog at www.kenleyskorner.blogspot.com